Dealing With Addiction
Aderinola is a wife and mother who loves to write. She shares her God Experience with us.
The way you feel, when you ‘feel’ there’s no way out – Trapped. Despondent. Deficient. It’s numbing; a horrible feeling. It robs you of life, literally. I’ve felt this way one time too often and I can only imagine how my life would have turned out, if God hadn’t intervened. For someone else, he probably intervened through a friend, some counsel, or via music that lifted the soul. However, he sure does intervene and he did for me. Makes me wonder how those who relate with my struggles with addiction but never let God in make it…survive…live…
Breaking free from an addiction is a miracle! We sometimes think miracles happen for special people only. People who’ve met the requirements – dotted the ‘holy-Is’ and crossed the ‘sanctified-Ts’. But hey, look, I’m here..! I was a girl, who was down; at the bottom of her lowest and covered in the quagmire of her shame. But God reached down, through all of that and brought me out, proving that he’s not too holy for my mess! “You’ve got to be determined to break free,” people would often say. “Build the desire to break free because with desire comes action!” I could recite the admonitions by heart. But determination? Desire? How different were they from the kind that kept me up at night, reminding me of my wasting life? Or the ones I chased after, but kept tripping me up, again and again, as I fell flat on my face. What desire didn’t I have?!
One day, whilst researching some content (on identity) for my teens, (I work with teens at my church), I stumbled on a particular guy explaining, “God still loves you, in spite of ‘you’…” It was the craziest thing I ever heard! If only he knew what I struggled with. But then I felt like the burden that kept darkening my days, weighed a bit lighter, so I listened some more till I eventually internalized that God doesn’t use the same lens man uses. (Remember Isaiah 55: 8 & 9?) I learned that regardless of how many times I slipped up and fell, it didn’t change the endearing way He saw me. It was the recognition of that LOVE that brought out the newness in me; the change in me; the wholeness in me.
I think the most criticized message ever preached (and that’s because the devil knows the freedom involved) is the Grace Message. It sounds like it condones sin. But in God’s love, I found mercy. I found a clean slate, once and for all. We need to give up and quit beating ourselves up. God has already done a perfect and forever job of redemption, our questionable feelings regardless. (Don’t let your doubts bully you.)
So, that’s how I got my break. I didn’t go on a 7, 14 or 100 day fast, neither did I promise and vow or determine to be perfect. I’ve got nothing against all of that but I’d rather depend on his strength. I studied the word with anticipation, chasing down and ruminating over chapters or verses that had anything to say about his love, even when I was still almost deafened by the roars of my signs and symptoms! Through my struggle with addiction, I found the Father had an aggressive love for me. He considered me FIT, HOLY, PERFECT and JUST ENOUGH for Him and that was enough for me too!
From my heart,
PS: If you would like to meet the God Aderinola spoke about, please go here.
May 18, 2017
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October 20, 2016